This isn’t exactly what I saw last night on my way back to the Métis Centre for the Women’s Journaling Circle. Our first!

But the sky was full of this amazing orange sphere.

Which makes me think of this poem:

Full Moon Insomnia

by Colleen Redman

I.

The moon is like a jewel

under my pillow

Like the princess

and the pea

I can’t sleep

II.

I’m trying to sleep

but the moon has other plans

I follow its bouncing ball orbit

like reading subtitles in a foreign film

It says: Wake up and write this all down

before you lose such good reception

I’m a nightshift stenographer hired by the muse

to take down the moon’s business

What a wonderful Rest and Cleansing Moon / Hunger Moon celebration we enjoyed. I am so blessed to have such wonderful women in my life. May all who live know such feminine wisdom. Thanks to all who joined me…looking forward to celebrating Spring Equinox with you on March 20th at the Métis Centre in Owen Sound.

Wolf Moon

 

This moon seemed so powerful last night that I was just a flurry of hands and glue stick! What do you know two dream boards emerged. One said it was for me personally (see below)

 

And this one says it is for me as a new professional…I start work on Thursday! The exploration this evening should be very enlightening.

Beginning the New Year…

Tags

visioning

I know many of you reading this think I’ve gotten lost in some time warp because you know that it’s not New Year’s Day. No it’s Epiphany, or Little Christmas, or Orthodox Christmas or your cousin’s new partner’s birthday or something. But it is definitely NOT New Year’s.

In the words of Jan Richardson, “In some parts of the world, Epiphany (January 6, which brings the Christmas season to a close) is celebrated as “Women’s Christmas.” Originating in Ireland, where it is known as Nollaig na mBan…”

And so it is for me. I love the season of Epiphany. so I chose it as my day to wipe the slate clean and start over. Imagine! a whole season of epiphany and hopefully epiphanies.

All will be well and all is well. I am just fine. Same old ornery self. I have decided to make the 12^th day of Christmas or Epiphany or Women’s Christmas MY New Year’s Day this year of 2012 CE just because it works for me and my plans for this year.

You don’t have to be a slave to social mores either. You can pick any day or date that works for you, don’t be tied to the Julian calendar that our ancestors adopted.

And perhaps you might pick a next best date when a major life event smacks you in the forehead. May feel that a change of direction and some centering is called for. You don’t even have to make your year last for 365 days of that Julian calendar. Pick a number, any number. Now go ahead, pick a day that has meaning for you and begin your very own New Year. And while you’re at it … Celebrate your Self!

Patti Digh has been a mentor to me (though she doesn’t know that) and she is the author of Love is a Verb, Creative is a Verb, What I Wish For You: Simple Wisdom for a Happy Life and Four Word Self-help.

She begins her new year with two questions. I think they are very good questions. All encompassing yet focused they can centre (Yes, I am Canadian) and ground us. Better still they can give us a sense of direction … a compass to keep us on our own path. So I enter this, my new year asking myself these questions.

What do I want (or need) to let go of in 2012?

Stuff! Perhaps books …

but that will be difficult. Even those old theology books that don’t seem to fit this new life are hard to part with. But I will have to force myself to be ruthless and pare down the books so that they either have a place on one of the many bookshelves or they find a new home.

Old clothes. We all have them. Those articles we haven’t worn in years, but still hang on to … just in case. I have tons (well maybe not tons, but more than enough) of clothes that don’t suit my life, don’t suit my body type, don’t fit … and they have to go. No more hanging on waiting for that big party, the fitness routine that actually works, the waistlines to match… No more hanging on. Out they go to the thrift shop for someone else who can actually use them.

Those are tangibles and their absence will be noticeable in my house. There will be more space and less clutter.

I’m looking for the same thing within my Self. I need to feel more spacious and less cluttered. How to do that? Let go of defining myself with someone else’s yardstick. Let go of the need to seek approval from some superior far-distant Other. Let go of those core beliefs that no longer serve. Just let go…

It’s like shoveling snow…if it’s so you can get in your car and go then you know why you’re doing it, and it’s actually fun. Well, fun might be a stretch, but it’s not so much of a chore.

And what do I want to create in 2012?

Now with my new position this one is easy…I want to create a healthier, more vibrant community … both professionally and in my personal life (especially within my small “tribe”). The great work will be a process of learning and growing for me. One which I love. As to personally…keep tuned…more announcements to come.

I hope you will join me this year and we can keep on growing together!

 

 

Risking Peace

What would risking peace look like?

Each day I pull a card from a deck of self-care cards published by Cheryl Richardson as a jumping off point for morning journaling. A couple of days ago it looked like this:

Sure got me to thinking… risk peace, risk peace, risk peace…whatever can that mean. Because really and truly it seemed more than a coincidence that these two words seemed to be forming a complete thought that resonated deep within me.

I journaled about what they could mean. Put them on my desk with other collage materials and played with images. Here’s what that looked like.

Just an aside you can send one of Cheryl’s self-care cards as a postcard…just go here…

Now I realize that today’s word is actually two words, but once again they came to me by happenstance and together they say something a little different than if I just put down risk AND peace as my words. And they would take up 2 days instead of the one I have left b/c the 6^th of January is the “real” New Year for me. Because in all actuality January 1^st being the beginning of another year is arbitrary and patriarchal so I’ve decided to ignore that.

All decisions must be in place by the New Year I’ve set for myself. The goals set. The direction begun. Otherwise, I’ll just drag this out until around September which is really and truly the beginning of a new year for me. Honestly, every day is a new beginning so it’s hard for me to just pick ONE day in 365 (or so) and label it thus and so.

In case you are interested I am an Enneagram Nine…

“While peacefulness and serenity are two of the principal traits of healthy Nines, there are also times when Nines can be angry, aggressive, and anxious. However, they virtually always think of themselves as peaceful and return to various forms of peacefulness (for instance, passivity and complacency) as their ‘home base’.”

For Nines passivity often passes for peacefulness and we are often perceived as “slothful” or “lazy” because decisions are so … so … so … well aggressive. We don’t want to be seen as aggressive, or angry, or anxious and so you can see my dilemma about picking a single day as a deadline. I need deadlines. Desperately…but someone else has to set them … and even then I may balk.

There I’ve digressed enough. Sorry.

Back to where we started from:

Risk Peace.

Notice what is on the back of these cards by Cheryl Richardson

The risk card also mentions that we need to use our power. That really speaks to me because as most women do, I often acquiesce my power to others. So if I am to take risks I must realize that I have power to use gently, carefully, kindly…but never to give it to another.

The peace card refers to peace in not knowing all the answers. What an aha! that was for me. Yes! That would be true peace for me…to risk trusting, to risk confusion, to risk just being with a question AND not knowing. Risky peace for sure.

What would risking peace mean for you?

Wishcasting

Here we go again! and with much glee and gladness. Once again it’s Wishcasting Wednesday with Jamie Ridler. And the question for today is: What or whom do you wish to make peace with?

I wish to make peace with how i feel about where i live AND to make the necessary changes so that I can live in peace in a home, in a place, that i can truly love and flourish.

That’s it. It won’t be easy. It will serve up many challenges. But i’ve put it out there and ask that you join me in wishing for me what i wish for myself.

My New Year will begin on the 12th day of Christmas, January 6th on which day I will post my word for the year. Watch for it! I think it’s already working in me.

Spirited

Next intention word says a great deal. Let’s look at the etymology of that word:

spirit (n.)  mid-13c., “animating or vital principle in man and animals,” from O.Fr. espirit, from L. spiritus “soul, courage, vigor, breath,” related to spirare “to breathe,” from PIE *(s)peis- “to blow” (cf. O.C.S. pisto “to play on the flute”). Original usage in English mainly from passages in Vulgate, where the Latin word translates Gk. pneuma and Heb. ruah. Distinction between “soul” and “spirit” (as “seat of emotions”) became current in Christian terminology (e.g. Gk. psykhe vs. pneuma, L. anima vs. spiritus) but “is without significance for earlier periods” [Buck]. L. spiritus, usually in classical L. “breath,” replaces animus in the sense “spirit” in the imperial period and appears in Christian writings as the usual equivalent of Gk. pneuma. Meaning “supernatural being” is attested from c.1300; that of “essential principle of something” (in a non-theological sense, e.g. Spirit of St. Louis) is attested from 1690, common after 1800.

excerpted from: the Online Etymology Dictionary (http://www.etymonline.com/index.php?term=spirit)

We’ll have to spend sometime sorting this out, but for now it speaks of how I see myself “being” in the world. Alive, full of breath, vital, soulful (full of feeling), courageous and a super natural be-ing.

Not supernatural, but a super, natural be-ing … not just “doing” but being present in my body, mind and deep in my soul.

As a tip of the hat to this word, I have begun to create figurative art once again…dolls, if you will…but much more than dolls…”spirit dolls”.

The first one is now in her cosy home in Windsor, Ontario, Canada.

Her name is Mandala Woman and she is companion to the real-life Mandala Woman, Kathryn Tisdale.

I hope I have captured her spirit here. Admittedly, I am out of practice … and all art is practice. I have been “buried in books” for quite some time. Both literally, as in, I have been busy making books, altering books, journaling in books. And figuratively, as in, I have had my nose buried in a book since September studying at Huron.

But this is a new beginning…not because the calendar says so, but my heart says so. My heart calls me in a different direction and by saying I need to pay attention to that I mean that I need to listen to my spirit. That will allow me to be spirited in 2012.

I have a feeling I’ll be dancing a lot more!

Olé!

Fierceness

2012 shall be my year to wear my fierce face which is not to say that my face will be angry, scary, or warrior-like. But my face shall be fierce.

So what do i mean by “fierce“? Well, you might ask…and so … since you ask, i will tell you. You could just click the link and read for yourself, but I’m going way back to the 13th, 14th and 15th Centuries for my definition of “fierce” … mid-13c., “proud, noble, bold.”

Indeed! I’m taking Danielle Porter’s lovely poem to heart… I shall be “fiercely tender and still grow wild”…

One thing that I mean by this statement is that I will be vulnerable and open, willing to take risks, while still listening to my heart and doing only what feels right for me.

Vulnerability means taking risks. If we don’t take risks our lives will be small, narrow, unfulfilled. I’ll have none of that with the days I have left to me. I want expansive, wide, wonderful days and lots of them. I want days that allow me to say, “Well done!” at the end of my days. I want to die with a satisfied smile on my face … and no regrets.

The Giant

A couple of weeks ago I promised one of my Wishcasting Wednesday tribe a post in her honour. To acknowledge her special wish… to release fear…

This is a story I heard a very long time ago … I have greatly adapted it.

Once upon a time, in a nearby valley, quite like this one … there lived some people, quite like us.

Now, these people never dared to move from their valley. Not even for a vacation, not even to visit relatives, not ever. And do you want to know why they never left their valley? Why it was because whenever they tried, whenever they climbed the surrounding hills, an enormous, greasy, grungy giant roared at them most fiercely.

After meeting this giant they ran back into their tranquil valley as fast as ever their legs would carry them. So up they would go to the top of the hill and back down faster and faster each time. In time, fewer and fewer of them even tried to go over the hill. This had been going on for hundreds of years. And people stopped even thinking about leaving the valley. And so it was, they just resigned themselves to the same old, same old.

One day, a new and plucky Queen was chosen from among them. The queen heaved a great sigh, cleared her throat and she spoke,

“This is a lovely valley and we are a clever and resourceful people, but we can no longer just cocoon ourselves away here. We never see new vistas. We never change the way we do things. We never develop our trade. We never make new friends. Indeed we are becoming dull and boring – we are stagnating folks!

So, tomorrow, I will venture forth.

Yes, I will go beyond our hills. I will go over the mountains in spite of all the dreadful things we have all heard these many years. I will see what really lurks just beyond the crest of that hill.”

So the very next day, the Queen put on her best hiking pants and her coziest flannel shirt and her stoutest hiking boots. She packed her backpack with trail mix, an apple, and pure water, some sketch books, good pencils and pens and a few field guides. She also brought a change of socks and underwear and a set of rain gear. Finally and most importantly she packed photos of her lovely valley

and the people whom she so dearly loved. “I will return”, she called over her shoulder as she set out with some feelings of trepidation.

Sure enough, just as she reached the crest of the mountain, there appeared a great, greasy, grungy giant. She felt flummoxed and very, very alone – and very, very small.

Right in front of her stood a gruesome giant growling and yowling in a most menacing manner. However, instead of running away, the Queen gulped and took one large step forward.

*****

Imagine her amazement when the giant shrunk by the length of her hand!

Hmmm, she hummed, “Let’s try that again.”

Again, she stepped one substantial step closer to the giant – and lo and behold he shrunk by the length of her hand once again.

Now the giant was a full foot shorter and his roaring was becoming a little less ferocious, a little less loud.

The queen picked up speed and strode more confidently toward the giant. Eventually, one step at a time, hay foot, straw foot, steady as she goes, the Queen came face to face with the “giant” who was now so small that she could hold him in her hand.

Gently, she lifted him, so that she could look him squarely in the eye and she softly spoke, “Who are you, that you seem so large from a distance and now are so small?”

The giant shrugged and with a significant sigh, replied,

 

 

“My dear, my dear, my name is Fear.”

Stay…

Stay

Second intention word on this welcoming winter’s day. Stay.

If I were an animal (and I did this exercise way back in grade school) I think I would be a dog. Not just any dog, but a working/hunting dog. The kind that you can see energy vibes radiate from. The kind of dog who needs to be a part of something bigger. The kind of dog who needs a “job”. We’ve always had these kinds of dogs. Not lap dogs, not guard dogs. Actually, most of the dogs who’ve been part of my life have been the kind who would show a robber where the silverware was kept … that is, if we owned silverware.

Now these are smart dogs, loyal dogs, dogs who want to please those they love. So I guess I’m pretty on the mark when, as a little girl, I thought that I would be a dog if I weren’t a human.

There is one drawback though. A dog who is smart, loyal, eager to please AND who needs to do a job has a little too much energy, a little too much enthusiasm to just sit sometimes. Once their day’s work is done they love nothing better than to curl up in front of the fire. But only after the work is done and done well.

So I’ve chosen the word “stay” to remind me to ground myself. To relax and celebrate when the work of the day is done. But also to remind myself to do that great work of building community, to care for and to please those I love.

I am picturing those wonderful companions now…Sparky, Chip, Tru, Lixie, Beau … sitting pretty, but just vibrating with enthusiasm and energy to chase that squirrel, go for that walk, greet the kids after school, get out in the woods/beach/meadow for a hike. Waiting for the signal to go!

As I prepare to greet the new year, to welcome winter with a warm embrace, to find my place in this community I now call home, I realize that staying is part of the going forward. Savouring the anticipation of what is to come, what is unknown and being fully present. Tracey Clark said it well.

Setting down roots will ground me. Will help me to stay the course. Staying is what I need to do now…

Second intention … Ready, steady, go!

 

Wishes for winter

Jamie Ridler faithfully prompts us to wish every Wednesday. Today she asked, “What is your winter wish?” Since today was almost as hectic as yesterday, I had to wait till this evening to even give this some thought. So what do I wish for winter? What is my winter wish?

Aside from a long, red “swing” coat

and new high boots

…there is nothing i can think of. Though I am having fun playing on Pinterest

Nothing I really, truly need really.

I have plenty and then some as Susan Werner sings. So as she sings…when you have plenty and then some the thing to do is to share that. So my wish for this winter is the opportunity to do just that.

I want to share and serve. I wish to build up a community around me. And then I want to serve the community where I have found myself at home.

Oh and I want to become a real “expert” with Photoshop Elements 10

in gratitude to my husband for gifting me with this.

What do you wish for this winter tide?